Non Borderlines – BPD Family and Compassion for those with Borderline Personality Disorder

Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari, on video, on the subject of non borderlines, loved ones of those with BPD, partners, and family members having compassion for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Why is compassion for those with BPD important? What makes it challenging for those who are non borderline? Can compassion be confused with enabling and rescuing? Does compassion or lack thereof have anything to do with what you are experiencing from your borderline loved one? Can you or should you have compassion in the face of abuse, borderline rage, borderline splitting, on-again, off-again, cyclical and toxic relationships?


Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder
Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Non Borderlines
Can You Rescue a Borderline Loved One?
Facing The Facts on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder
Inside The Borderline Mind
4 BPD Loved Ones Ebooks – Puzzle Mystery of Hope & Splitting and BPD Audio Program Bundle
The Dilemma on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder – Can Borderlines Love? Do Borderlines Feel Love?
Full Circle – Lessons For Non Borderlines
plitting in Borderline Personality – Loved Ones

Ebooks and Audio Programs © A.J. Mahari


© A.J. Mahari, June 16, 2011 – Phoenix Rising Publicatons – All rights reserved.

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Can You Validate Your Borderline Loved One?

Many people who email A.J Mahari, and many of her Life Coaching clients who are loved ones, family members, partners or ex-partners or on-again, off-again partners of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder are asking her about validation. Does it help if you, as a loved one of someone with BPD, learn how to validate and support the person with BPD in your life in how they are feeling and what they are communicating?

 



Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder
Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Non Borderlines
Can You Rescue a Borderline Loved One?
Facing The Facts on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder
Inside The Borderline Mind
4 BPD Loved Ones Ebooks – Puzzle Mystery of Hope & Splitting and BPD Audio Program Bundle
The Dilemma on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder – Can Borderlines Love? Do Borderlines Feel Love?
Full Circle – Lessons For Non Borderlines
plitting in Borderline Personality – Loved Ones

Ebooks and Audio Programs © A.J. Mahari


© A.J. Mahari, Phoenix Rising Publicatons – All rights reserved.

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Coaching and Understanding to Help BPD Loved Ones (Non Borderlines) Cope with Someone With BPD in Your Life

Loved ones, family members, partners or ex-partners of those with Borderline Personality Disorder are often confused, in pain, and struggling to cope with a loved one with BPD. Life Coach, BPD and Mental Health Coach A.J. Mahari was interviewed on the healthyplace.com Mental Health TV Show on the subject of BPD Loved ones and Coping with someone in your life with BPD. This interview has been broken up into three parts to fit on youtube. You can watch the there excerpts of this interview below or by going to my YouTube Channel

 

 

Audio Programs For Loved Ones of BPD © A.J. Mahari


 

 

 



 

 



Audio Programs © A.J. Mahari


Please be sure to visit healthyplace.com where they now feature blogs including one written by someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

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Borderline Personality Books for BPD and Loved Ones

Author, Life Coach, Mental Health and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari has written 6 Books specifically about Borderline Personality Disorder and 4 Books specifically for Loved Ones about Borderline Personality Disorder.

A.J. Mahari has also written and narrated 12 Audio Programs about Borderline Personality Disorder, along with 4 Audios about BPD Recovery and 13 Audio Programs specifically for Loved ones with someone with BPD in (or who was in) their lives.

A.J. Mahari also has Books and Audios about various topics under the category of Self Help that can be of help to those with BPD and/or to their loved ones as well.

You can also purchase coaching sessions with A.J. Mahari

© Phoenix Rising Publications and Touchstone Life Coaching Services – All rights reserved.

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A.J.’s Main Message to Loved Ones of BPD

Author of 20 Ebooks, author and narrator of 30+ Audio Programs Life Coach and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari gives a synopsis of her main message to loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder who are in significant other relationships.

“My main message to loved ones in significant other relationships with those with BPD is two-fold. You cannot rescue or bring about change in your loved one. You cannot “fix” them. Secondly, if your BPD partner is not taking personality responsibility, does not follow up on promises and commitments made, isn’t getting help, isn’t working to find and create change in his or her own life, nothing in the relational dynamic can really change for the better in any long-term or healthy consistent way.

 

Loved ones, especially, but not limited to those in significant other relationships with people with BPD, need to know that there comes a time when further focusing on the person with BPD in your life in what becomes an “over-focusing” will keep you stuck and is not helpful to anyone.



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Audio Programs © A.J. Mahari


© A.J. Mahari, July 2, 2010 – All rights reserved.

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A.J. Mahari Interviewed On Healthy Place Mental Health TV Show

In a show that was focused on Loved Ones of people with Borderline Personality disorder and coping with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder in your life, A.J. Mahari, BPD Coach and Life Coach was interviewed to talk about BPD  to and for loved ones of those with BPD.

The original interview can be seen below

Watch live streaming video from healthyplace at livestream.com



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Audio Programs For Loved Ones of BPD © A.J. Mahari

July 1, 2010.

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Mother of Daughter With Borderline Personality Disorder – Coping with Splitting

BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, responds to a mother of a daughter with Borderline Personality Disorder about coping with her daughter’s splitting, acting in and acting out and her concern for her grandson along with her own pain. Loved ones of those with BPD can and will benefit from radical acceptance practice and detaching with love.

“I have an adult daughter who has BPD. She refuses to go see someone about her condition. The situation is escalating and reeking havoc in her marriage and in her family life (she has an 11 year old son), and certainly with her extended family.” 

“She switches from “acting in” but completely avoiding me or giving me the silent treatment, to “acting out” with horrible diatribes and being completely disrespectful. I have read much that you have written about BPD and I have found your material to be among the best at explaining to family members what’s going on inside the head of a BPD, and how they are experiencing feelings of abandonment.”

“My question has to do with how I react when my daughter is both “acting in” and “acting out”. During the “acting out” phase, she tells me she hates me, that I love her brother and his family more than her and her family, and she is beyond disrespectful, rude and hurtful. She takes reality of a situation and completely distorts it to match how she feels. I simply don’t know how to handle these outbursts. I try to depersonalize them and to tell myself that she has a mental disorder, but it is crushing to me. She is rude, disrespectful and hurtful. In the “acting in” phase, she totally cuts me out of her life, never answers phone calls, and distances her entire family from me often times with me not even knowing what has precipitated this “acting in”. She keeps my grandson from seeing me. The stress of life seems to overwhelm her at every turn.” – Mother of BPD Daughter – U.S.

The BPD Coach A.J. Mahari responds:

In response to your question as to how you react when your daughter is consumed by the defense mechanism of splitting that is central to Borderline Personality Disorder, it will be important for you to learn to not react at all. Of course one has feelings in the face of such punishing and inappropriate behavior. Coping with your borderline daughter’s acting in or acting out can most effectively be stabilized for you by radically accepting that this is how your daughter is, right now. Even more than depersonalizing her acting in or acting out, you will benefit from having a neutral emotional stance that allows you to meet any and all turmoil with compassion and understanding but also without reacting to it or feeling responsible for it. Detach with love.



I can understand how emotionally, your daughter’s behavior is crushing to you. Validate your own feelings inside and keep that process to yourself in the presence of your daughter. In relating to your daughter it will be important to not express your feelings and to not lead with your own feelings. When your daughter is acting in or acting out she will not be aware of how it effects you. Those with BPD have no time for and less awareness of how their actions effect others because they are so busy reacting to their own perceived abandonment and/or rejection sensitivity. Sadly, if she feels judged or let down by you she, like many with BPD, will likely seek to punish you. She will react to how she feels and perceives her interactions with you. What she reacts to, more often than not, will not be rational in the here-and-now. You may clearly understand that intellectually. It is just as important for you that you allow that intellectual understanding to reach your emotional understanding as well.


  • BPD Coaching With A.J. Mahari

    For your BPD daughter, her experiences are her own and her feelings will be driven by thoughts that may well be distorted. It sounds as if the punishment she chooses to give you, among other things, involves not letting you see your grandson. Sad as it may be for you right now, knowing you cannot change or rescue your daughter, and that you want to be able to see and support your grandson, it will be important to validate your daughter’s feelings and to accept that, for now, (until she gets some professional help) your daughter is not going to be able to consider, respect, or care about your feelings as it is only natural to want her to do. Remember that painful though it can be supporting and validating how your daughter feels even when you don’t understand or you know that she has some cognitively distorted reactions unfolding will help you to accomplish your immediate goals. 

    As much as you may want to protect or rescue her and/or your grandson from what might be the consequences of her actions, to your grandson, in her marriage or her own life generally, it is now up to your daughter to seek professional help and take responsibility for her own actions. Unless and until she does this, the best you can do is radically accept that she has BPD and what the reality that means to the ways that she relates to you knowing that when a mother has done her best and not in any way abused her daughter, that is the best you can do. Even mothers need to step back emotionally at times and while being compassionate and supportive detach with love. 



    In seeking to accomplish immediate goals it is not realistic to think that you can create any change in what your daughter thinks, does, or feels. It is also not realistic, right now, to think that you can succeed in having your daughter understand how you feel or where you are coming from. Any feedback you might have sought to give her in the past is likely experienced by her as invalidation, judgment, and rejection and/or abandonment even though you have actually tried to help her and not invalidate, judge, reject, or abandon her. 


  • BPD Coaching With A.J. Mahari

    What is very central and key for any loved one of someone with BPD, and for you as the mother of a daughter with BPD, is to first learn how to not react to your daughter and then secondly practice your coping skills in not reacting to your daughter. There are many different ways to learn more about how to cope most effectively and how to not react or have your buttons pushed by your borderline daughter. Along with things others have written on this topic and things I’ve written and done audio programs about on this subject, this is what I help many parents of those with an adult-child of BPD with in my BPD coaching as well. 




    Coaching Sessions





    It is not easy to not react. It takes concerted effort and practice to not react. It is important to be mindful of what your goals are however. Once you’ve identified your goals the next step is prioritizing those goals and keeping them central in your thought process when you communicate with your daughter so that you will not undertake any communication or action that will undermine your own goals. Radically accept who and how your daughter is right now. Let go of any illusions, notions, hopes or dreams about effecting change in her. Freeing yourself from any ideas or beliefs that you are somehow responsible for your daughter’s choices or her actions will give you the perspective that you need to be clearly focused on achieving your goals. 


    “My biggest concern is my grandson. Everyone walks on eggshells around my daughter and let her “get away” with totally unacceptable behavior. I fear any attempt for me to point out how unreasonable my daughter can often be would end up with me never seeing my grandson, and therefore keeping him from the rest of the family (especially my son, his uncle, who he adores, and my son’s family).  I want to give my grandson some kind of a safe haven from the turmoil that is in his home.” 

    The BPD Coach A.J. Mahari responds: 

    The most effective way to be in a position with your daughter to be able to give your grandson some kind of a safe haven from the turmoil he experiences at home would be to not confront your daughter. Radically accept that it is her responsibility to want to seek help and find help for herself. Radically accept that for now nothing may change in her life or in the ways that she relates to you. Within the parameters of reasonable and consistently applied boundaries stay focused on what it sounds like your two main goals are: 

    1. To not be drawn into your daughter’s emotional chaos and splitting being mindful that you cannot change her or rescue her
    2. To be able to manage communication with your daughter regardless of which side of a borderline split she may be manifesting so that you can continue to see your grandson

  • BPD Coaching With A.J. Mahari

    With these or any other goals you might identify validate your daughter’s concerns as a means of keeping the peace as best you can so that you can see your grandson. Offer support to your daughter without questioning her and having identified your own emotional needs and boundaries have a pre-planned exit-strategy for any breakdown in communication or escalating behavior on your daughter’s part that can be exercised in a way that you make about you and not about your daughter. So if a visit or conversation begins to escalate and your daughter becomes reactive and either acts in or acts out, you can extricate yourself from the interaction in a way that is you making a statement about yourself as opposed to confronting your daughter about anything she is saying or doing. 

    When someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is actively engaging in the defense mechanism of splitting, acting in on one extreme and acting out on the other, the loved one is put in a very painful no-win situation. 

    It will be beneficial for you to open to radically accepting that, with your BPD daughter, you are more often than not put in that no-win situation by her actions, words, and behavior as they manifest from one extreme to another while you firmly understand that the change that one hopes can be sought in this situation and situations like it in so many ways, that must come for the person with BPD him or herself, will one day be sought after by your daughter. In the meantime the no-win situation she holds you in is one that you cannot change. But, you can change how you react to it and how you choose to cope more effectively with it. 

    © The BPD Coach A.J. Mahari and Touchstone Life Coaching September 17, 2009 -  All rights reserved. 

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  • If you would like to ask the BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, a question, please email her at bpdcoachaj@yahoo.ca with your question. Please also indicate if you would be okay with your name being used if A.J. responds to your question here. If not, please suggest a pseudonym that you would like your question attributed to. 


  • All responses given by The BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, are meant to convey general information and are not intended to be in anyway a specific recommendation or commentary on any personal life situation. Coaching is not therapy. It is also not a replacement for professional therapy. Coaching can be an effective adjunct to professional therapy for those with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or their loved ones. 


     

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    Inside The Borderline Mind

    Beyond BPD Jargon – Deeper Understanding For Loved Ones

    The many distorted and wounded aspects inside the borderline mind means that there is much for loved ones to learn about the inner-workings of BPD so that they can further understand how to best cope with someone in their lives with Borderline Personality Disorder. What, if anything, do the terms “high-functioning” or “low functioning” applied to Borderline Personality Disorder mean? Is the use of the terms “high-functioning” and “low functioning” in Borderline Personality Disorder found primarily in online support groups for loved ones of those with BPD helpful or actually more misleading? Can loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) get beyond this jargon to a deeper and much-needed understanding of what goes on inside the borderline mind and free themselves from the chaos of BPD?

    In many areas online loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder – non borderlines – will encounter the challenge of jargon invented in efforts to explain the experience on the other side of BPD. Loved ones need to go beyond this often misleading jargon – jargon that can misinform – to be able to achieve a deeper and more meaningful understanding of their experience of and with the person with BPD in their lives.

    Insight into and understanding about the borderline mind in those with Borderline Personality Disorder For Non Borderlines audio program series, The Borderline Mind by A.J. Mahari sheds light on what loved ones need to know to enhance their understanding and coping. Mahari, as only one who has been there can and made it back can, shares her insight and experience as someone who had BPD and recovered to further the understanding of BPD for those who are on the other side of BPD – non borderlines.

    Purchase all 3 audios now available in this enlightening and educational series – Inside The Borderline Mind © A.J. Mahari 2008-2009

     

     

     

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    I am the Adult-Child of a Borderline Mother

    I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I was treated for BPD. I recovered from BPD. One thing has remained a constant throughout all the years of my life and all of my healing – I am the adult-child of a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder.

    Notwithstanding that I am now by virtue of recovering from BPD, no longer a borderline or no longer borderline, and that I am now living my life as any other non borderline, my mother remains as borderline as ever.

    My mother has not ever acknowledged her “issues”. My mother has not ever sought treatment. In fact, my father (deceased) was also borderline – he never sought treatment either. What this meant for me early on in my life must have been but mere writing on the wall it would have been so obvious to the onlooker with knowledge – I was destined via genetics and/or environment – the double whammy – to end being diagnosed with BPD. I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 19, in 1976.

    What this meant for me as a child was emotionally devastating. Ironic as hell now really, at this point in my life that I have come to realize that there is some grief to feel and process even now. I think that as I face this head on as I am currently, it is ironic because I was always in pain over the loss that was the reality that my mother and I never bonded. I have in many ways and at many levels grieved this loss in many different ways.

    In the past I had therapists who told me that “mother work” was the usually the last work that many get through. I have gotten through a ton of it. Oddly enough I sure did leave it until the end in my recovery from BPD too. I held out as long as I could. I had always taken this approach in my life that my mother just wasn’t important. Years ago in therapy, that misconception and actual protection on my part was shattered. What was most important about my borderline mother in my life however, wasn’t her, it was the enduring emotional absence of her in what was her otherwise physical and hateful presence in my life.

    I have worked my way through all of my childhood issues that go back to my mother – yet, still, there is grief. This grief is the grief of an adult-child of a borderline mother – not the grief of a borderline who is still emotionally a child in search of a mother. I let go and grieved and laid down that a long time ago now. I have processed the incredible pain of the grief and sadness of not really ever having had the mother I wished I’d had, I wished she would have been, or the mother I so needed. I am a healthy adult who is in the process of letting go of any false hope about any resolution that I’d so hoped my mother and I could one day process together.

    My mother and I not only didn’t bond but we’ve never had any measure of a relationship. We co-existed (barely) in the same house for the first 17 years of my life. But, living in the same house does not a relationship make. Well, we co-existed if you count her sexually, physically, verbally, and emotionally abusing me and my screaming and raging at her in my late childhood and early teens co-existing that is.

    There was always some level of degree of pain about this reality in my life but in the past when I had BPD and when I was as emotionally unhealthy as she was, back when the battle royal was my fair also I was too busy living it all to really get to the bottom of all of the sad. When I had BPD I was way too angry to get to the sad.

    Of course, throughout all the therapy I had on the journey of my recovery from BPD there was tons of work and focus and yelling and crying and suffering and journalling about my mother. There were millions of attempts on my part over the years to talk to her, to get through to her, to help her -  God, I so wanted to rescue her. All attempts were not only in vain they took their own emotional toll on me. They were accruing really. I wasn’t paying enough attention.

    Perhaps even though I had dealt with so much about my mother and my childhood in therapy and in recovering from BPD the reason that I hadn’t been as aware as I wished I’d been about the toll that this “pseudo-relationship” or shadow-relationship was taking on me and was actually accruing within me was because I was so wrapped up in the shame of my survivor guilt.

    You know, for me to recover from BPD, and to have stuck with therapy through all that that demanded and took, I had to walk away from my family. This was merely the beginning of the ending. Endings sometimes take more time than we wish they would. But when in the middle of our process with an ending, it is just that, our own process. We can only have insight into what we are able to grieve, I’ve come to learn. That means, we can only know what we are willing to let go of. Yes, we can only really come to an awareness and acceptance of what we are willing to surrender to – no matter how much it hurts. What blocks awareness often when change is needed is focusing on trying to control something rather than just letting it go. It is the sad sullen slow surrender to what needs to be let go of that is the increasing awareness of unfolding personal enlightenment.



    Recent life events have for some reason, of late, given me this blessed kind of radical acceptance of who my mother is and always was. I have for years had compassion for her. I have for years, since I recovered from BPD in the mid-1990′s let go of so much to do with all that I suffered in large part to the failings of my mother. Of course to recover from BPD I had to make the painful and gut-wrenching (at the time) distinction between learning to take personal responsibility and letting go of blaming my mother along with being practical about what affected what when I was a child under her “care”.

    I think what has put in me touch with this latest round of grief about my mother is my recent decision that despite very little contact over very many years now, I have to again strengthen a boundary, I had partially relaxed in the years since my father died. I had given it enough time. Nothing has changed. In the few times we’ve even talked each time was like she could easily have picked the tiny scab remaining around my healed wounds if I let her.

    You see even though I have recovered form BPD that certainly does not make me super-human. Nope. Just human. Therefore, in my humanity, imperfect as the next non borderline so to speak, there is still this tiny scab where I wish there was a fortress to be honest.

    Though I don’t think I would be being me if I didn’t still have a tiny scab. I think I may have that tiny scab for the rest of my life.

    Is it somewhat devastating, as in, painfully sad, that I now realize that there won’t be any closure on such a toxic past with my mother? Yes. But I can easily cope with that. Yes, easily. It hurts. But then so do many things in life over which we just don’t have any control right? I have resolved as much as one can without the benefit of the other party being willing and able to meet one half way in mutual resolution. However my whole life experience with my mother is one of what Bradshaw calls “broken mutuality” anyway and the sad truth is that since she is not in therapy, nothing will change and the legacy of this broken mutuality is now mine, and mine alone, to grieve.

    I feel like I have finally turned the corner on my survivor guilt. I am no longer going to hold onto that feeling of guilt because I recovered and my mother is the same as she always was. That’s about personal choices and personal responsibility. I stepped up to the plate of what was my devastated borderline life in the past and I changed that. I took personal responsibility. I made a choice to get better. My mother hasn’t been able to make either of those choices. Perhaps she is, like so many other borderline mothers, a victim of her generation and its mind-set?

    My mother is 83. In her day if you had a piece of your mind left at all you wouldn’t go to a psychiatrist. That would be like admitting you wanted an all-expense paid trip to the nearest nut-house. I get that. But in all these years since self-help and the reality that getting help is a good thing, is okay, in fact is something to be celebrated – well, no shift in her way of thinking, no keeping up with the times there at all.

    There it is – the really sad in all that’s been sad in my life. It was also really sad that my father didn’t get help and that we didn’t have any closure before he died. What can you do?

    I know what I can do. I can take care of myself. I can grieve and keep moving on. I can let go. I can accept that for the reasons I was born into the family that I was, there was purpose. Oh the pain, yes the torment – not fun. But the most important thing for me now is to always remember from where, what and who I came. To know that I made a choice that cost me even having a family let alone any family support. That choice was to INDIVIDUATE – a word that spelled BETRAYAL to my borderline parents who projected out their own betrayal of me onto me and had their borderline script read that it was me, A.J., getting well, taking care of myself, moving on and finding purpose and meaning my life, that was somehow an intolerable betrayal of and to them.

    The thing about the toxic reality of relating borderline style is that individuation isn’t allowed. Individuation to the career borderline, to the person with BPD who just won’t get help or who just can’t acknowledge their “issues” equals and is perceived as full-scale abandonment. It’s no-win really.

    What they couldn’t tolerate, what they wouldn’t support, and what they didn’t have the emotional and perhaps even intellectual tools to understand was that I was no longer willing to be the wasteland garbage pain container of their unregulated, untreated, and un-controlled borderline toxic dysfunction. I always had (even in my own borderline years) a strong sense that I was born to be my own person for whatever reason God sent me to this earth despite all the crazy-making evidence of my parent’s borderline smear campaign to the contrary – I was not born into this world to be them, or to be like them, or to continue their abusive toxic borderline way of life. I was born to create change. I was born to learn. I was born to meet the promise, potential, and purpose that God had long-ago known I would find a way to step up to the plate of – way before I had a clue what any of that could and would mean in my own life.

    I wonder, when many an adult-child of beloved parents, after having lost both to death, feels likely understandably like an orphan, (as I’ve had friends describe – not something I can relate to actually) if I won’t just end up feeling freer. I have felt freer since my father died. I think I will feel even freer when my mother passes on – not that I wish that on her – that’s not my business. I am letting her go now, on my terms, in my own way, in the way that I have to for my own well-being. As to when God calls her home, well, hey that’s not up to me for sure.

    I was orphaned before I was 2 years old – emotionally. I was the child that existed to carry the toxic and projected emotions of 2 borderline parents that couldn’t tolerate themselves let alone what they felt. I abdicated that role almost 20 years ago now. So much of what life is about – is choice.

    Oh yeah, the grief is everywhere right now. That’s okay. It’s just so very sad. It is what is. We often can’t control the cards that we are dealt in the hand of life but we can take responsibility for playing them to the best of our emotional and intellectual ability in a paradoxically balanced and healthy way.

    I have learned through my recovery from BPD, ironically enough, how to surrender to that which I cannot control and how to be at peace with that.

    © A.J. Mahari  July 6, 2008 – All rights reserved.

    I will be blogging more here about my experience throughout my life so far on one side or the other of Borderline Personality Disorder so please check back for much more.


    A.J. Mahari is a Life Coach who, specializes in working with those with BPD and non borderlines. A.J. has a unique perspective from both sides of BPD. She brings her passion to help those on either side of BPD who are in search of understanding and are in pursuit of peace and happiness. A.J. has 8 years experience as a life coach and has worked with hundreds of clients from all over the world.


    I am writing my memoir about my recovery from BPD and you can check on the progress of it and keep informed about its up-coming availability at ajmahari.ca

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    Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder

    “In this in depth ebook, Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder A.J. Mahari masterfully explains how and why those with Borderline Personality Disorder punish others and seek revenge on those closest to them. Mahari gives the loved ones of those with BPD an inside out understanding of punishment and revenge in BPD.” – Joan Van Vork, M.S.W.

     

     

    This ebook includes 5 chapters and 161 pages of in depth explanation for loved ones of punishment and revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder. In this ebook, along with a tremendous amount of insight and understanding about punishment and revenge manifested by many with BPD Mahari shares her own experience in her recovery of mastering the unmastered talionic impulse at the heart of Borderline Personality Disorder.

     

       This ebook also features:

    • 7 Illusions That Guide the Borderline False Self to punish others
    • The Karpman Drama Triangle and Cycles of BPD punishment
    • The Child/Victim Archetypes & BPD Punishment and Revenge
    • 20 Foundational Keys of The Talionic Impulse For Revenge in BPD
    • Freud’s Myth of the Primal Horde as relates to BPD Punishment
    • The 15 most common elements in Borderline Punishment Cycle
    • How Borderlines Punish – 7 Common Questions
    • Why Borderlines Punish – 7 Common Questions

     

    © Phoenix Rising Publications & A.J. Mahari, 2009 - All rights reserved.

     

     

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