Join my email list and you will be able to join me in free conference calls and ask me your questions about BPD and and ways to cope as a loved one or questions about staying or leaving and much more.
Join my email list and you will be able to join me in free conference calls and ask me your questions about BPD and and ways to cope as a loved one or questions about staying or leaving and much more.
Loved Ones – Codependence – The Need For Boundaries
Loved ones – non borderlines – of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) need boundaries. Without healthy boundaries what results is codependent, enmeshed, enabling, relating. Relationships between those with BPD and non borderlines contain a toxic dynamic. It is a dilemma and a dance wherein those with BPD need too much but what you give can’t ever be enough for them. It can’t be enough because you can’t be the borderline for the borderline. The borderline needs to find him or herself and learn, emotionally, how to be who he or she really is. Borderlines, not having a stable sense of self or identity try to live through you. What does that mean for you?
In the relationship between the non borderline and the borderline there is also a dance wherein loved ones – non borderlines – often end up sacrificing the Self inside – losing themselves to the losteness and neediness of the people with BPD in their lives. What’s the alternative? Is there another way? How can you maintain your sanity in an insane situation? How can you maintain your mental health in a toxic relational dynamic? Can you?
A.J.’s Emotional Mastery Coaching For Loved One of BPD
Boundaries and limits implemented, communicated, and up-held by loved ones of those with BPD are truly gifts that you can give the person with BPD in your life today. Your boundaries – boundaries that you have every right to and need for your own well-being will plant seeds that each borderline has the opportunity to grow from if and when he or she chooses to. Boundaries are gifts that you can give yourself and the person with BPD in your life. That person may not appreciate your boundaries or what they could mean for them too but you can’t let that stop you from having the boundaries you need or you will be living from a codependent enmeshed and enabling dilemma that will, sooner or later, demand that you save yourself. It is a very painful way and place to live. It is choosing to suffer emotionally when you really do not have to.
© A.J. Mahari, January 5, 2010 – All rights reserved.
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Related posts:
- A.J. Mahari Interviewed On Healthy Place Mental Health TV Show
- Enabling Versus Helping – Codependence and Relationships – Borderline Personality Disorder
- A.J.’s Main Message to Loved Ones of BPD
- Intimacy and Borderline Personality Means Push-Pull
- Coaching and Understanding to Help BPD Loved Ones (Non Borderlines) Cope with Someone With BPD in Your Life
Join my email list and you will be able to join me in free conference calls and ask me your questions about BPD and and ways to cope as a loved one or questions about staying or leaving and much more.
Join my email list and you will be able to join me in free conference calls and ask me your questions about BPD and and ways to cope as a loved one or questions about staying or leaving and much more.